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Frank Ahrens Craig Cola/washingtonpost.com

With Frank Ahrens
Washington Post Staff Writer

Frank Ahrens covers radio for The Washington Post. His column-"The Listener"--appears every other Tuesday in the Style section. Frank is also a general assignment feature writer, and his reporting subjects have included everything from minivans to murders, from baseball to bandwidth.

If you're wondering about the inner workings of radio in Washington, around the country and on the Net, or want to know what Frank really thinks of minivans, then don't touch that dial! Check out a transcript of today's discussion.

washingtonpost.com: Good afternoon. Welcome back from Florida Frank. How was the NAB (National Association of Broadcasters) conference? Did you get a chance to swing by Disney? Tell us about that and also your thoughts on the big news of the day... the Viacom/CBS merger.

Frank Ahrens: Greetings, all. The highlight of my week in Florida, I have to say, was not the NAB conference, but visiting Kenneday Space Center for the first time. With all due respect to the space shuttle crews, it reminded me of being in Detroit: a place that used to be great at something. I grew up watching the mighty Saturn V rockets blast men to ANOTHER PLANET. Now, the shuttle reminds me of a Greyhound. Oh, well. But on to radio: If you saw my column this a.m., the news of the NAB conference was low-power FM. The FCC is proposing licensing low-power FM stations to average Joes and Janes (10, 100, 1000 watts; DC101, by comparison, is 50,000 watts) and the commercial broadcasters are dead set against it.
As for the CBS/Viacom merger, I was eavesdropping on my cubicle-mate, Style reporter Paul Farhi, who just filed a report for this web sit's afternoon edition about the merger (boy, talk about media synergy!). He said that it means more crossover promotion between networks, more "vertical integration" and other such biz terms. In D.C., CBS/Infinity owns five stations: WHFS, WPGC AM and FM, WARW and WJFK. Interestingly enough, there is a CBS radio exec, named Bill Figgenshu (I hope I've spelled that correctly) who who oversees many stations. One of his projects now is WARW, Classic Rock 94.7, whose ratings are sagging. It is the speculation of some local radio execs that Classic Rock could undergo a format change, because Figgenshu used to work for Viacom and pioneered the very successful Lite Rock format there (which sounds something like WASH 97.1). But folks at WARW insist there will be no format change. But it's fun to speculate.
Sorry for the big pre-amble. On to your questions...
(Oh: Here is today's Amazing Radio Fact, appropos of the medium: In a span of over 36 months the number
of radio webcasters has leaped from
56 to over 2600. Chew on that.)

Alexandria, Va: Have Donny Simpson and Chris Paul left WPGC? New hosts have been on the morning show over the last two weeks.

Frank Ahrens: Donnie is just on vacation. He'll be back soon.

Charleston, WV: What do you think of Marion Barry?

Frank Ahrens: Hmmm....this is from my hometown, so it's either my mom or one of my two best buddies. Charleston and Washington D.C., mayor-wise, have one amazing thing in common: Both had mayors that were busted for doing crack/cocaine. Everyone knows about the famous Barry bust, but, in the '80s, little Charlestons (pop. 65,000) had a mayor called Mike "Mad Dog" Roark, a former hellzapoppin' prosecutor who used to go out on drug raids with the cops. He was elected mayor and, like Barry, was on many fronts a good mayor. Until he got busted doing cocaine. Oops!

McLean, VA: Whatever happened to Paul Harris, former FM morning guy, and sometime fill-in on WMAL am? Is he working in another market? And what about his sidekick, "Dave?"

Frank Ahrens: Paul Harris landed on a talk station in St. Louis, where he does middays. I don't remember the call letters, tho. He started, oh, I'd say, 6 months or so ago.

Gaithersburg, MD: Hey Frank,

I'm a 45-year-old guy, the sort that radio demographers sneer at because we don't buy zit cream and Madonna CDs. As a result, there's nothing for me to listen to on the radio. Oldies? Feh. Classic rock? The same three songs by the same four bands. Modern rock? Two-chord angst songs by tattooed children. Country? Chick songs about feelings and relationships. Shock jocks? I hated guys like that in high school and I hate them now.

All the buttons on my car radio are set to NPR and the Music of Your Life station, which at least plays Frank Sinatra now and then between the assisted-living-center commercials.

Why does radio hate me, Frank? Why?

Yours,

Neglected on 270

Frank Ahrens: This is a great rant/comment. Nowadays, it seems, the only radio skewed toward men is sports and sports/talk and classic rock. Used to be, country had its outlaws--Waylon and Willie, Bocephus, etc.--but during the'90s, country steered itself toward, as you correctly point out, chick music. Adult contemporary (such as 97.1 and 107.3) are aimed at women. So is black radio, such as 96.3 and 95.5. Oldies, like WBIG and Jamn' Oldies, the same. In theory, as a 45-year-old male, you are in a coveted demographic for WJFK, which does Stern, Liddy, Don & Mike and Sports Junkies. But it sounds like you've got your knuckles up off the ground. If you're a male of your age and don't like talk or sports, or classic rock, you're pretty much up a tree without a paddle. I suggest more CDs.

Alexandria, VA: So, what's going on at WTEM? Kornheiser is moving to mornings. Why? Don't they know that Jim Rome is awful? Are they going to keep him?

Frank Ahrens: As my college in Sports, Len Shapiro reported, Kornheiser is indeed moving to mornings, 10-1, starting next Monday. (He told me so this very morning.) WTEM is taking an hour away from Jim Rome, who'll go 1-3. Tony is very happy about the move--even though he leaves the popular afternoon drive slot, he will be live, instead of on taped delay, which means he will take local callers, which is one of the strength of sports shows. I think this is a great idea. As for Rome, I think he gets good guests and I enjoy him in short--repeat short--bursts, but he's not everyone's cup of tea. John Thompson will move to afternoons, following Rome. Sports talk radio stations are constantly fiddling with their lineups. WTEM has consistently low ratings but still makes money. They have updated their Web site to make it more interactive and I think the station is about to get a well-needed shot of vigor.

Alexandria, Virginia: Frank,

What about your take on Gospel radio in our region? Heaven 1580 -WPGC-AM- has become the new leader while 1340 -WYCB- and newcomer 1030 -WWGB- struggle to obtain or hold listeners. One thing is for sure, for the listener, its great having the various choices.

Frank Ahrens: Many people tell me that Washington is the best gospel town in the country, in terms of the stations as well as sales of gospel recordings. Heaven 1580 is owned by CBS, which has deep pockets. Radio One has made WYCB a fine station, but I know very little about WWGB. I have been meaning to write a story about gospel--its roots here go waaaay back--and this will spur me to do so. Many tnx.

Washington DC: Hi Frank - -
Did you meet any industry types at the NAB convention who were interested in low power radio at all, or were all the broadcasters pretty much against it? And did the broadcasters address the issue most low power radio advocates press: that big radio stations today are generally not responsive to local concerns -other than the one exec. who couldn't imagine discussing local isues for more than an hour each day-?

-Amanda

Frank Ahrens: I think it would be safe to say that radio execs stand unilaterally against low-power FM. If you're looking for allies in the NAB, fugeddaboudit. Your strongest ally is William Kennard, FCC chairman. Commercial broadcasters respond to the charge that they don't serve their communities by pointing to studies that show they are airing more Public Service Announcements (free ads) than every before. A legitimate question to ask is: When do the bulk of those PSAs air? Morning drive, or 3 a.m. Sunday? It is an inveitable consequence of consolidation--read, "out of town ownership"--that radio stations are less responsive to community needs. On the other hand, radio execs can reel off story after story about deejays raising $300K in a day for a 6-year-old's kidney transplant, and so forth.

Falls Church, VA: What's your true opinion of Don and Mike? I can't tell whether you like them or not.

Frank Ahrens: I think Don & Mike are ratings monsters, and I respect them for that. I think they run a highly professional, white-hot show that zips along. That being said, I don't find their material consistently interesting or bright and they don't suit my taste a lot of the time. More importantly, though, the legion of Don & Mike fans should realize this: When I write an item, such as I did this morning, about them being pulled off a station for on-air remarks, that has nothing to do with what I think about them. I am just reporting the news, with no implicit judgment. Some fans would rather I not print "bad news" about Don & Mike or any radio personality, but that wouldn't be covering the news.

San Francisco, CA: I spent 15 years in radio, but bailed out a few years back. The only way I'd return - and I love the medium - would be if I had total control over a broadcast. My question: what would one of these micro-setups cost, in total?

Frank Ahrens: Wow. The cost question. I was afraid someone would ask me that. I cannot answer that. If there are any radio pros tuned in to the chat, please let us tap your knowledge.

Crofton, Maryland: I regularly listen to a radio station over the Internet that originates in Europe. This summer I had the opportunity to visit the studio and meet the program host. He informed me that as far as ratings and audience share are concerned, Internet and satellite broadcast audiences don't count - just the ones in the listening area of the station. Is that true here also? Do stations make any attempt to quantify the number of Internet listeners? Or is the phenomenon too new to be significant?

Frank Ahrens: Arbitron, which tracks radio station ratings, only recently introduced a device to monitor Internet radio listening. As Internet radio listening grows (see Amazing Fact, above), then stations will start including that in their sales pitches to advertisers.

washingtonpost.com: We have about 20 minutes left in this discussion. Please continue to submit your questions.

Winchester, VA: How can it be justified that the Greasman was canned for his remarks -I agree he was wrong- when the Don and Mike show recently spouted racist dribble against hispanics on their show and there is no backlash other than losing one of their syndicates? Don Geronimo is known to do drugs, yet he remains on the air while The Greaseman has been blackballed. What gives?

Frank Ahrens: Fair question. The political truth, I belive, is it matters not only what you say but which group you offend. If you offend a well-organized, highly active, very vocal group--such as the Greaseman did, with his anti-black slur, you're more likely to pay a higher price than if, like Don & Mike, you slur an historically less-active group, such as Hispanics. But that is thankfully changing: There was a groundswell of protest in Albuquerque over the Don & Mike remarks--enough to get them pulled off the air--and that is continuing, because Hispanics there--and everywhere--are quite rightly fed up with accepting derogatory remarks directed toward them. As different minority groups become more enfranchised and gain economic power, one way they weild it is to fight stereotypes. I would suggest that the Don & Mike "get back on your burro" incident may not be over.

West Palm Beach, FL: Is the real reason the establishment is cracking down on "pirate" radio a fear that the Truth will come about about Dealey Plaza, flouride and the illuminati?

Frank Ahrens: No, it's because they will finally broadcast the truth that the Trilateral Commission can change the weather!

washingtonpost.com: If you're looking for a local radio listing/guide, please check out this address: www.washingtonpost.com/wp-srv/style/tv/permanent/radioguide.htm

Washington, DC: Frank,

My husband is frequently told that he would be a great DJ for jazz or Quiet Storm format. How does a 30 something pursue breaking into the radio annoucer-DJ biz?

Frank Ahrens: Wow. Well, one route is to quit his job and go be in intern at WHUR. But I'm guessing you'll put the kibosh on that. Another is to quit his job and enroll in one of those broadcasting schools that supposedly teach you how to talk like a deejay. Again, that involves loss of income. Hit the lottery?
Sorry to be flip---it's kind of hard to break in as an on-air personality. Usually, you have to spend your time being a station go-for. But here's an idea: Try WPFW, D.C.'s Pacifica station (89.3). They play jazz and have more of a college-radio sound, which is to say, less tightly formatted. Most importantly, though, does your hubby know anything about music? Good deejays are more than just a pretty voice. Good luck!

Grosse Pointe Farms,Mich: Ed Christian, President-CEO of Saga Communications:
Just like a newspaper. You have to have a lot of work and people to publish daily. A radio station is not a toy to be "signed on" whenever. It demands programming and thought each and every day. Immagine if the WP had to publish a daily paper only on immigration-or health. This paper had to be topical each day and compelling. It couldn't miss a day and had to be different each and every day. A hard task. Yet you could abbreviate it each day and publish fewer pages but that is not the case with a radio station. With every right there is a responsibility. Please reflect on this responsbility and hopefully you can attain clarity of thought about radio and what it entails.

Frank Ahrens: Great to hear from you. I'm guessing from your collegue Randy Michaels' comment at the NAB convention that there is a feeling that Kennard will push through some sort of low-power effort. How will you adapt? Are you, and other radio execs, also fearful that low-power FM stations will eat into your advertising base?
It's great to have a real live radio exec in the chat!

McLean, VA: Did you ever get a response from MIX 107.3 regarding Jimmy Alexander's remark that had listeners upset?

Frank Ahrens: Here's what I can tell you about Jimmy Alexander's stunt of a couple of weeks ago. I told the station I wouldn't divulge too much of it because they want to pull it again, but he didn't pull a Greaseman. He didn't say anything offensive; it was a radio stunt.

Rockville, Md : Frank,I grew up here and most of my musical knowledge was aquired listening to WGTB and WHFS. Now Jake Einstein has cloned HFS with WRNR but I only pick it up on Rte 50 at the beltway and east. Any chance they'll improve their signal? Can't DC support a format like this?

Frank Ahrens: Ah, not a week passes that I don't get a WRNR, good-old-days-of-WHFS question. God bless you. I talked to an exec at WRNR a couple of weeks ago: No plans to upgrade their signal. Their frequency is 103.1. In Washington, WGMS (classical) occupies 103.5. That's a little close for comfort; if WRNR strengthened its signal, there could be bleedover on WGMS. But you can listen to WRNR on the Internet.

Washington DC: You can set up a low power radio station for less than a thousand dollars, by buying transmitting equipment over the internet and using home stereo components in your studio. But the whole point of low power radio -- at least in the view of most people who are working to legalize it -- is to create new spaces for a variety of new voices to be heard on the air, not to be one person's ego machine.

Frank Ahrens: Good point. Someone once called the Internet "the vanity press for the deranged." Any search down a blind alley or two on the 'Net will prove that. If low-power is licensed, like big broadcasters, the market will decide to listen to the station or not. If a low-power broadcaster is spinning groovy tunes, giving news of the local churchs, carpool information for the hood, etc., then I bet folks will listen. But if some crank spends his One Grand to set up a station and read his highly personal haiku, I bet not.

Washington, DC: Do you know of any plans to bring "Kiley & Booms" back to Washington area radio?

Frank Ahrens: In a word, No.

Sterling, VA: Why are radio personalities afraid of the Arbitron people and why arn't they allowed to talk about them?

Frank Ahrens: If you mean why are they afraid of talking about them on-air, it's because they would unfairly skew the listener diaries. More than one station has gotten in trouble with Arbitron for giving listeners on-air "suggestions" on how to fill out the diaries, thereby "stuffing the ballot box" for that station and not presenting a true data sample. Holy criminy. I can't believe I just said "data sample." Suddenly, this chat has turned into a statistics lecutre. AAIIIEEEEE!!!

Germantown, MD: How does the FCC think that low power FM going to be different from public radio? Public radio was supposed to do many of things that the low power advocates claim that they will be doing. Instead, we see competing public radio stations running the same NPR product off a satellite. NPR may be great, but there is really little "public" in public radio. THere is some validity to the interference argument--thus, we should make sure that we are really going to see some benefits on the programming side before we mess with the spectrum.

Frank Ahrens: Public radio changed with its success. The more people that listened, the bigger it got. To provide more and better programming, and distribution, they needed to raise money. As they get only about 15 pct of their budget from teh fedgov, their activities turned by necessity to fundraising, both from listeners and corporate advertisers. But here's the diff: Public radio stations have HUGE signals, that stretch a long way, reachign lots of listeners. By their nature, low-power FM will have a much more limited audience and, in theory, would need less (or no) money to broadcast.

Colesville, MD: Frank, it would be great to see more about the local stations in your column. Maybe a station history and lineup of jocks, or something . . . Otherwise, we miss out on the comings and goings at a place like WASH or WARW when they're not making enough news to make it into your column. And, it would be great to keep up with who is where these days . . .

Frank Ahrens: Fair enough. Maybe a regular roundup of who's where. I can tell you that Seth Warner, late of WMZQ, is filling in part-time on Mix 107.3. And Dave Zyck, former mornign man at DC101, is at WMZQ, learning about country music.

Edgewater, MD: I'm interested in your thoughts on the trend towards more and more "schtick" during morning FM drive time shows and less music. WBIG is the latest perpetrator of this execrable practice. What started out a few years ago as one DJ and a lot of great music has evolved into an annoying gaggle of constantly-yakking "talent" -HA!- and virtually no music. This sorry collection of never-will-be's has lately even taken to wandering down The Greaseman's discredited path of tasteless, bathroom-humor routines. Last week it was a live "report," complete with sound effects, from someone selling their urine to substitute in drug tests. Today, a fake promo for a new movie, "The Seventh Sense," about being able to smell decomposing bodies. Do the programming "geniuses" that run WBIG think that their audience tunes in expecting to hear this kind of junk? If I want potty humor, I'd go to the source and get some old Greaseman tapes, or find Howard Stern on the dial. What happened to the original concept: music? Also, please convey to BIG my comment on their morning programming: "ADIOS!"

Frank Ahrens: Morning shows are real dividing line. Because most of us are prickly when we get up, we respond very different to stimuli. I know folks who don't like Tom Joyner's very popular morning show because "there's too much laughing," for instance. I'll say this: The trend in radio now is toward personalities. There is almost no interest anymroe in the good ol' jock who has a fine voice and just spins tunes. Now, you've got to be an entertainer. And radio is a highly emulative business. If your competitor has a schtick morning show, and they get a ratings bump, then, by God, you're going to get one, too.

washingtonpost.com: Thanks to everyone for joining us today, but we're out of time. Frank, any parting words?

Frank Ahrens: Yeah. Sorry this chat was so sober and filled with information. I'll try to bring along some radio jokes next week ("A priest, a rabbi and a minister walk into a radio station..."). But I hope you guys found it interesting. Also, I got a little bit of a tan in Florida, which I'm sure you'll be happy to hear.
Talk to you next week!

washingtonpost.com: Thanks Frank. Join Frank Ahrens every Tuesday from 1pm to 2 pm EDT for Radio Talk. And be sure to come back tomorrow for a special new feature on the Web site. Beginning Wednesday at 1 pm, you can read the Post’s new PM Extra. It’s a new, special, updated version of The Washington Post newspaper, exclusively online. So, every day at 1 pm, you’ll be able to get the day’s top stories (plus some extras) written by Washington Post reporters. Be sure to come back tomorrow and every day after that at 1 pm to check it out!

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